live life kingsize

It’s been almost close to a year since I’ve met the Rajas’ & their Queens’ in their abode. Was cleaning stuff at home for Diwali and surprisingly saw a packet of sand which I dumped in my travel bag from Jaisalmer last year.

As I write this entry am just hallucinated over my trip. Enjoy some pics here…

 

I struggle… with being thankful

Today is the Thanksgiving Day holiday in Canada.  A day off tospend some time reflecting on all the things we can be thankful for.

Here are some of mine:

• Maa & Paa
• My beautiful wife, Reshma
• Amazing Friends
• My health
• Freedom – in so many different ways.
• Coaching – super cool people, colleagues, and a tons of opportunities

I could think of a million more things I could be thankful for – there are so many.  But what stands out the most to me today is how quickly I forget to be thankful.  After what only seems like a couple of minutes, I will get caught up in my own world – what to do I have to do, achieve, conquer?  What’s the next action?  The pressure mounts and a constant striving for ‘more’ creates a space for reflection on how thankful I should be for all the amazing things I have provided.

So, today, I will stop, take a breath, and be thankful.   And, in a couple of minutes when I forget, I will try to remember to do that again.

Mwah!!!

mwah… mwah… mwah… (most typed word from my cell these days!!!)
So just kiss me, and let my hair messy itself in your fingers. Let me steady myself  in the arms of a woman who won’t ask me to be what she needs, but lets me exist as I am – Jewel

Upside Down

When you turn upside down   |   Life ain’t too much fun
I wanted to cry   |   But the tears wouldn’t come
It’s time to say goodbye   |   The party’s over
As the laughter dies   |   An angel cries

sinned gluttony

i wud have sinned gluttony
for your love, only if i had you.
i did not want you to walk away from me
and you never understood why
i could not ask you to stay back
and i never would know why
come, if you want to
coz i do

Did I go wrong?

Saw the world in my sheets and once again I am asleep. No use in crying, in feeling small, no wishful thinking. Cause I cant have it all. Walk out the door, up in the open, looking at the stars fall down.  And wonder ever where did I go wrong..

marriage productized!!!

A few months ago, I posted my profile on various matrimony websites coz I was looking for one and I just wanted to experience this real time !!

I researched, browsed profiles, looked at the descriptions parents of prospective brides had put in for their beloved children. “I am good looking, I am traditional”…the list of self enhancing adjectives dont cease…

Marriage, what we grew up believing was an institution which was sacred, is now nothing more than a commodity !! If you pay for the services, you can actually invite someone to chat with you and if you are a free member, the luxuries of inviting or pinging someone for a chat is beyond reach.

I was rather be amused by the parameter search that will “help” you narrowing down your search and finding Mr or Ms Right. Blood group, earning capacity, skin color, caste, ethnicity, manglik and a host of terms that are beyond the understanding of a 3rd generation.

Lets face it, my parameters are simple  - looks and smells nice, dresses well, can hold a conversation, is supportive and adventurous and does not believe sex to be a mere biological activity. I frankly dont care about relegion, caste, manglik, skin color, north indian, south indian… but try explaining that to our generation our parents are from!!!

Not that I blame them, they were bought up on a diet of strict, conservative religious, traditional values which did not give the children the right to choose their own partner. After all, their parents chose their partners and their marriages worked out, so why the hell would it not work for their kids!!!

Some may argue and say the websites work – many people have found their life partners and yes… the purpose of this article is not to berate the shaadi and jeevansaathi.coms of the world but to understand the commoditization of marriage.

Its our fault too… 21st century, we still believe in the caste system, the kundlis anad the alignment of the stars. But I have a strong feeling, that after our generation, a lot of this customs and castes are going to go out of the window!! (Hopefully)

I (like most people, hopefully) am averse to being treated like a piece of plastic or a curtain which can be customized to your specifications !!

I like the idea of making new friends, falling in love, spending sleepless nights, long phone calls and then making the decision to marry someone I know well, inside out and not depending on the vagaries or the possible lies that prospective brides and grooms may put on their respective shaadi profiles!!!

Call me old fashioned but this is it

In quest of purity

 

Had been to Club 9 with chaddi-dost’s last week and from no-where we pampered in discussing “Sex before Marriage” and the guilty conscience encircled.

Our sexuality is a gift and is beautiful throughout the entire spectrum of age. It is a vital part of being human and I think it is an important bridge for the marriage. I do not believe that sexuality is defined by sexual acts… I find that sexual energy generates all acts of creativity and brings life closer… guilt only distracts us from the enjoyment of this amazing part of being human and connection with our true selves and with others… 

I think over the ages it is a combination of the fear of being human and in touch with joyous pleasure, the fear of pregnancy (when not wanted), the fear of intimacy, as well as using sex as means of power, rather than a gift shared, that has created such guilt that keeps us from fully experiencing our sexuality…

Do i even have to say anything more???  you know that i feel that the best part of our sexual being is being wasted pursuing purity… and it is the relentless quest of purity that leads to this guilt you are asking about… i believe the guilt you are experiencing has right in between little and nothing to do with sex at all…… and everything to do with other people perception of your purity factor…

Unluckily we missed on carrying a deep chat.

Marriage running through my mind

What I think about ‘marriage’

Companionship I don’t think is about a wedding where hundreds are invited, more of which I haven’t even met before and gold/ money/ riches is measured, or about ego clashes between two families; neither about a great honeymoon and pink romantic days.

True love arrives only later, in good warm days and bad bitter days, amidst the grocery bills and hundred other routine pursuits. I think ‘getting married’ or ‘finding a companion’ is about that special friend with whom one is willing to share life with. So like someone said, we would still be getting to know each other, even after 20 years of togetherness. It is synonymous with commitment, loyalty, trust and openness; exploring life together, walking on two different banks along the same river. Together yet individual. The singularity of a marriage is what makes it awesome and a great duo team. Anyone ? (and no partner hopping, humans have presumed that they are better than animals!)

More about the gentle lady
Yes, I am looking for a Companion, a close friend to rejoice life with, to grow old and better with. 

A charming lady with entrepreneurial attitude, self-reliant individual, follower of her own mind. Someone who will treat me as her equal and not want my life to be a victim to biological roles only. Would be great if she keeps the nerve to stand by what her convictions and values are.

In short, someone who will nurture the singularity of the bond, essentially a ‘marriage’ believer. Beauty is in the seer’s mind, my wife companion will be the handsome model of my life.

Love towards all, Malice towards none

 The above headline is excerpted from “The Greatest Preacher of Islam & A Messenger of Peace and Love” from the committee of the Dargah Sharif, Ajmer, Rajasthan, India.

Khwaja Sahib was a scholar of great repute. He interpreted the true Islamic message of love for mankind and through that, love for the Almighty Creator. He preached the Qur’anic philosophy of unity of religion and worked out its potentialities for the whole of humanity. He was the greatest mystic of his time. He laid the foundation of the liberal Chishtia order of Sufis in India, and inspired millions of souls to be his followers, and thus served the masses of the Indian sub-continent.

 

For past several months I was planning to pay a visit to dargah of Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti. Luckily I encouraged myself to manage whatevr I had to  to be there fully. My recent visit was truly a worth… each minute. The take-away for me was “A coach is whom you should trust fully”

The night after I reached there, I headed towards the Dargah to pay a homage to Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti. Here, I found thousand of devotees paying their homages, being a part of that huge congregation was a matter of pride for me. While I was paying homage to Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti, I came across beautiful calligraphic inscriptions of the Holy Quran on the walls and tomb. In the Dargah premises there are two big mosques, some shops and two big pots named as Badi Deg and Choti Deg. During my stay in the Dargarh, I could not take the Langar (special sacred meal) which is cooked in Badi Deg and Choti Deg. After spending couple of hours in the Dargah and visiting each nook and corner, I came back to my hotel. I heard from my tour guide that Ajmer was the place from where the last Hindu ruler of Delhi, Prithviraj Chauhan, ruled over a major part of Northern India.

When Khwaja Sahib had acquired the best knowledge and wisdom of the time, he travelled widely in search of a Pir (spiritual guide) who could provide him with the best spiritual guidance. He came to know of Hazrat Khwaja Usman Harooni , r.a, who was the greatest scholar and unrivalled spiritual guide of that period. In the very first meeting, Khwaja Sahib completely submitted himself to his Murshid and remained in the company of this great divine spiritual leader, for twenty years and served him devotedly, passing through the various stages of spiritual life. Thus the great Murshid trained and elevated Khwaja Sahib to the highest spiritual attainments.

As a sacred destination, it is considered to be one of the best in India. Faith rules here as you number of devotees visiting the Chisti’s Dargah to find solace. I feel convinced that the mosque is really a spiritual abode. I really long to taste the Langer (sacred meal) and to experience for myself the innate eternity that prevails in the Mosque.